Here’s a few jokes that might put a grin on your face, if not have you crying with laughter.
David Beckham has just announced he’ll be writing his new autobiography. It’ll be all about his playing days with England, his life withe Victoria and his clothes. He’s going to call it ‘ Three Lions, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Two Liverpool fans are walking in the city centre when they spot an advert in a chemist’s window saying, ‘Free Liverpool season tickets. Apply within’. So one of them heads into the shop, while the other waits outside. Half an hour later,the guy comes out and hands his mate a packet of banana-flavoured condoms. “Where are the season tickets?” he asks. ” Sorry,” his mate tells him, ” I was too embarrassed to ask”.
What do you call a Spanish goalkeeper without any legs? Gracias (grassy ass)
Real Madrid are furious after they were informed they could have bought a big girls blouse from Penney’s for 4 euro, rather than the 90 million euro they paid for Ronaldo.
The fire-brigade phones Harry Redknapp in the early hours one Sunday morning. “Mr Redknapp sir, White Hart Lane is on fire,” he tells him. “The cups man, save the cups!” cries Harry. “Don’t worry sir,” the caller says, “the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet”.
Brazil’s Ronaldo pulls into a fast food drive-in and says, “Give me two whoppers please.” The cashier says, “OK, you’re not fat and you haven’t lost it.”
